Life As a Caregiver: How to Make Tough Care Decisions
Many of us feel honored to provide care for our aging parents or ill spouses, but this honor can also present serious challenges.
Even when we’ve had conversations with our loved ones about their wishes under certain circumstances, life is rarely so neat that we’re presented with clear choices of which there is a straightforward “winner.” For this reason, caregivers often need to make tough decisions under sometimes murky conditions.
The responsibility weighs heavily on us, but my personal feeling is that respect for the dignity and legacy of the person we provide care for can be a comforting guide as we travel this trying road. Yes, we may get frustrated or even angry over having to deal with another mess or dilemma. We are human and won’t always handle these situations well.
Having a solid foundation of respect for your care recipient will help you approach these uncomfortable duties in a kinder manner. It’ll enable you to think more clearly, even when you risk your loved one’s anger as you strive to ensure their safety and best interests. This is one way to make caregiving a little easier.
Respect Yourself As a Person and a Caregiver
To make the best decisions, whether for yourself or for someone else, it’s vital to have self-respect. When you’re faced with a difficult choice that affects your loved one, there’s added pressure. You want to know that you’re doing your best to weigh all available options and providing quality care that’s in line with their desires, even if they can’t vocalize them.
Don’t even begin to think about striving for perfection. Aiming for this unattainable goal is a recipe for caregiver burnout. Instead, stick to asking yourself one simple question: Are you doing the best you can under the circumstances? If the answer is yes, then…
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love – Now Available on Amazon.
Support a caregiver or jump-start discussion in support groups with real stories – for bulk orders of Minding Our Elders e-mail Carol Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.
“An inspiring read for caregivers! Minding Our Elders is a series of stories about caregiving. But it is much more than that. It’s a book that helps us view aging and community through the lens of someone well versed in eldercare. Author Carol Bradley Bursack has been a caregiver for a neighbor and six elderly members of her family. These experiences made her the perfect person to interview and share the stories of friends and acquaintances. Through crisp writing and a sharp focus, we enter the lives of those struggling to care for loved ones with dementia and other age-related illnesses. As I read Minding Our Elders, I felt myself filling up with both appreciation and admiration for those who adopt the caregiving role. In addition, I was struck with the inherent value Carol sees in our elders. This is a well-written book that will stir your heart!” …Ann C
