Caregiving Should to Be a Team Effort, Though Often It isn’t
You’ve probably heard the old saying, “there’s no I in team,” meaning that every member on a successful team puts selfishness aside and works together toward a common goal. Unfortunately, there is an “I” in caregiving and that “I” can represent many challenges that caregivers face daily: isolation, infuriation, irritation, imperfection and, at times, seemingly impossible.
During my years of caregiving, one particular incident made me realize that if caregivers want to keep their sanity, they have to eliminate that “I” by building a caregiver support team. It doesn’t have to be regimented or fancy; simply surrounding yourself and your loved one with thoughtful people and helpful services can be beneficial when you least expect it.
The Need for a Care Team
My epiphany regarding caregiver support came on a cold winter day years ago when Julie, my mail carrier, knocked on my door much earlier than she would normally pass by my home. Julie had been delivering the mail on her route a couple of blocks over when she noticed movement behind the snow-banked sidewalk across the street. Thinking it might be an injured animal, she went to investigate.
What she discovered was my 80-year-old neighbor, Joe, crawling toward his home. Joe had taken off on one of his impulsive walks to an old tavern downtown without considering the lack of sure footing. On a good day with dry cement under his feet, Joe shuffled with an occasional sideways wobble. Put ice and snow underfoot, and his walk was a recipe for disaster. Miraculously, Joe was cold but unharmed. The trouble was that after he had fallen, he couldn’t get back on his feet. Julie helped him up, escorted him home and then came looking for me since she knew I was his primary caregiver.
I expressed my gratitude to Julie, then went next door to Joe’s house and spent a fair amount of time scolding him. He knew I’d give him a ride wherever he wanted to go, and he could afford a taxi when he chose to be independent. Joe responded with his characteristic shrug; he stubbornly ignored my advice.
That day, I developed a new awareness and appreciation for kind people like Julie who are part of our elders’ regular routines. Postal carriers have been known to call the police when they see too much mail piling up in someone’s box. UPS and Fed-Ex delivery people, as well as others who run routes, have been known to find assistance for people when they notice…
Helpful Tools:
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories: “…This book is for all of us; let it help you cope! Thank you to the author and everyone she spoke with!” …Dolores
