You Can’t Prevent Parents’ Decline from Age, but Your Support Is Priceless
Dear Carol: Providing care for my parents is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s not so much the time and effort involved, though that’s challenging, of course. It’s my inability to make what I see as a meaningful difference. My dad has had numerous mini-strokes and is now exhibiting significant memory loss and a possible dementia diagnosis. My mother is still recovering from cancer treatment, which will not cure her, but should make her more comfortable and help her live a while longer. They are in a care facility that is satisfactory, and they are financially sound. That’s all good, but I struggle with their understandable depression over their combined circumstances that give them little hope. I try to do small things to make them happy, but nothing I do seems to help. How can I make it better? – HG
Dear HG: You are wise to see that your parents have understandable reasons to feel depressed. When you are with them, acknowledge that they have serious issues to deal with, and reassure them that you’d give anything to make it all better if you could. I recall one of my daily visits to my parents when my mom, who lived with intractable pain, looked at me and said, “Can’t you just give me a little black pill?” While I…
Helpful Tools:
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.“I hold onto your book as a life preserver and am reading it slowly on purpose…I don’t want it to end.” …Craig William Dayton, Film Composer
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
