How to Get Over Feelings That Prevent You from Visiting Someone at a Care Facility
People cite numerous reasons for why they hate visiting nursing homes. Some can’t stand funky smells, others find the sight of disengaged, listless seniors depressing, and most feel guilty over the fact that they’d rather spend time anywhere else.
The truth is that most of us experience some level of discomfort over the thought of visiting a skilled nursing facility. This aversion is very similar to the widespread dislike of hospitals. These are places where people go when they are very ill and require a high level of care. For families who have loved ones living in nursing homes, this discomfort can often get in the way of providing proper support. However, nursing home residents are most in need of regular companionship, support and advocacy. If you’re struggling to establish and stick to a visiting schedule with a loved one in a skilled nursing facility, it’s important to identify what’s holding you back so you can find ways to move past it.
Reasons Why People Avoid Nursing Home Visits
Unpleasant Smells: Let’s tackle the smell issue first, since I’ve even heard this excuse from people who have never darkened the door of a nursing home. Incontinence is an unfortunate part of aging and various illnesses, but in a quality care setting, unpleasant odors should be fleeting. Accidents happen, especially with seniors who require the highest level of long-term care available.
A good skilled nursing facility should handle incontinence incidents quickly and thoroughly. If any senior living setting consistently smells of human waste, or even cleaning products, this could be a clue that there are staffing or procedural issues. For example, there may not be enough aides to regularly assist with toileting and changing residents, leading to recurring accidents that are not handled in a timely manner. This could be a red flag for you to check into how good the care is overall.
Generally, most nursing homes carry the scent of older individuals (known as nonenal), but the odor inside should never be consistently unpleasant. Because this is a telling indicator of the quality of care a senior is receiving, it’s important to visit so you can monitor and advocate for your loved one.
Outdated Notions of Nursing Homes: Many of our reservations about nursing homes come from old-fashioned concepts of these facilities. Older generations remember the cold, institutional aspects of the “old folks’ homes” they visited decades ago, while younger generations are largely influenced by negative…
Continue reading on Agingcare for tips that might help people reluctant to visit care facilities:
Helpful Tools:
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories: “…This book is for all of us; let it help you cope! Thank you to the author and everyone she spoke with!” …Dolores
