New Year’s Resolutions for Caregivers
It’s human to want a fresh start. Even though I know that December 31 of one year is rarely that different from January 1 of the next, I greet each New Year’s Day as a symbolic new beginning. I can’t explain it, but the first day of January always gives me a (brief) psychological boost.
Reevaluating Your Goals, Expectations, and Attitudes
Like most family caregivers, I always strove for perfection while caring for my elders. Of course, these expectations always left me feeling like I fell short. There is no way that I know of to be a perfect caregiver. The needs of any care receiver can change in an instant. We can miss subtle signals. We are often so tired and stressed that we may absentmindedly forget to pick up a prescription, check an adult brief or do the laundry. All these things can bring on a huge case of unearned caregiver guilt.
It is so easy to get wrapped up in the difficult feelings and the pressure that come with this role. Every so often, caregivers need to remind themselves that they are doing their personal best. The new year is a perfect time to take inventory of your life and see what improvements you can make. My thought is that we can look at the coming year with fresh eyes, even though that freshness may only last a moment.
I made the following list of New Year’s resolutions that I felt I could’ve used when I was an active family caregiver. However, some of the items on this list that address self-care and self-love are important for everyone, not just those who are providing care. Even if you only stick to one of these, remember that progress is good, no matter how small.
A Caregiver’s New Year’s Resolutions
- I give myself permission to not keep the following resolutions or to keep them only partway.
- When I feel I am imperfect, I will remember that guilt is not an option as long as I know I did the best I could, given the circumstances.
- I will find time alone for myself, even though that seems impossible. That may mean asking for help from people and resources I’ve never considered before.
- Regardless of how deserving the source, I will say no to requests for my time when I know I can’t add any more to my plate.
- I will remember that family members and friends who are not care receivers deserve some of my time. This may mean a little less of my attention will go to my care receiver, and that is okay.
- I will follow through with my own medical appointments and screenings, including…
Helpful Tools:
Wetness indicator and alert to help manage incontinence with dignity. SenecaSense Home: Discreet Support That Restores Comfort and Confidence
Discover the Difference. EGOSAN: The premium incontinence brand caregivers love: They save work! Now Available on Amazon.
Stay connected with Memoryboard: Designed by caregivers. Memoryboard helps families share reminders, messages, updates, and photos on an easy-to-use screen designed for people with dementia. Peace of mind for families, independence for loved ones.
Leslie Kernisan, MD, MPH, has opened up support! View two free caregiving webinars that can help you help your older parents (and yourself).
Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories: “…This book is for all of us; let it help you cope! Thank you to the author and everyone she spoke with!” …Dolores
